


Broken Rose

by 1Z1



Series: Dear Max [2]
Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Action/Adventure, Depression, F/F, F/M, M/M, Romance, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-04-16 10:46:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14163138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Z1/pseuds/1Z1
Summary: After everything you'd think Alec would be fine and okay. Yet here he was broken and upset still, but after everyone finding out will they be able to help him? Or will the impending war be to much and everyone falls into chaos? Find out in Broken Rose





	1. I failed

Hey guys I'm back with the Dear Max series. I hope you enjoy this bumpy ride but as always thank you to my wonderful beta Lucifer_Larry and for the amazing cover by -vampirewriter, my cover maker. Be sure to follow these amazing women right there! And show your support for them! 

If you have any ideas for the storyline or would just like to see me write a certain story for you please be sure to pm me anytime! Thank you for your love and support, I hope you all enjoy the story!

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Beware a rose for its color and thorns. It bites and punishes those whom wish to pluck it's beauty to snip it's life short to deprive it of such a basic act as living. Beware the rose for it's beautiful nature hides it's dark intent.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Oh my! do I want to try again or should I tell him off? Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I do. I love him too much to think of him with anyone else.

"Of course, Magnus. Always, I'm forever yours." I kiss him sweetly. Magnus smiles a smile that lights up his whole face.

"Well then, thank Lilith because I've wanted to do this for a long time." He's... oh, by the angel, he's getting on his knees! "Alexander Gideon Lightwood, will you do me the greatest honour of becoming my husband forevermore?"

Chapter 1

Two months later

ALEC

Red roses. That's the flower that Magnus wants. I don't know anything about weddings so I'll always agree with what he wants. Since we came out of limbo two months ago we've been working on talking things out. I've learned why Mags is banned from Peru, but I want to be happy. I want him to be completely and 100% mine.

I asked Iz if she might know a way but all she said was "I wouldn't know. I've never cared enough about someone to want them to stay." Which isn't true. She loves Simon but she's too stubborn to let herself feel such ways. She'll come around, or so I hope.

I sigh, looking at the colourfulness of Magnus' and my room. Thoughts of him are leaving me and walking away from me again. It keeps me up all night and makes me sick when I go to eat. Nightmares so bad that I scream my throat raw and yet no sound makes its way past my lips. I lie there in the darkness, shuttering and spasming. Trying not to wake the caramel skinned man next to me even though I wish for his his eyes to open. For him to hold me with such longing that it makes me bite my lips till blood drips its way down my chin to keep from calling out to my cat-eyed lover.

Holding him close to my body isn't enough anymore. Feeling his warmth next to me, it doesn't keep them at bay. I haven't told Magnus for the simple fact that I don't want him to worry. I'm not worth his worrying, his sleepless nights, or his heartbreak. I'm not worth his anything. He surprises me everyday by staying with me as long as he has but still I keep quiet.

I know they know that something is wrong. The looks, the pity in their eyes, it makes me sick. So what, I killed myself? Well, newsflash! It didn't stick and now I'm back. Trying the best I can to live each day at a time. So what if I'm slowly dying inside with worry and sadness? I'll get over it. I'll move on; I always do.

I still write to Max. Every night I write him a letter telling him how I've been and what I'm up to. He was my little brother, my sweet boy. I'd take care of him and hold him. Now all I can do is write words on paper knowing that it doesn't make it to dead ears, burned and buried. Hoping that he'll see them, that he could somehow. Tears well up in my eyes. I'll never see him grow up. I'll never see him fall in love and get married to the only one he loves like I...love Magnus? I wish I could be a thousand percent sure when I say that but how can I? After everything, him giving up on me, my attempt at killing myself? So what if he followed me to death? He can easily turn his back on me once again.

After everything is said and done, can Magnus really truly love me back? I can't nor do I want to see into his mind bur something is nagging me at the back of my self-consciousness. I fear that maybe Magnus has changed his mind about me and he's realized that I'm not worth his time. That I truly don't deserve his love. The tears fall and stream down my face as I realize with an icy cold feeling that maybe Magnus doesn't really love me like he says he does. Maybe he's with his friends right now laughing like I thought he would all those weeks ago. When we were still trapped in the endless void called limbo.

Maybe I'm really truly not worth love or to be loved. Maybe I was right in killing myself. Maybe... All these questions and yet no answers. Only myself to blame, only myself to hate. That's all I've ever done. That's all I'll ever do. Hate and hate and cut and cut until the day I bite the dust....

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

MAGNUS

Alec. My beautiful, darling, gorgeous, loyal, kind, Angel.. He's broken. Unfortunately I already knew this, I knew it the first time I laid eyes on his icy blue eyes and his black as a endless pit hair. I could see in his eyes that he was destroyed by his family and how they acted. I knew you could take one look in his eyes and tell he hid something that he knew would devastate his parents and he thought his siblings as well. Sadly, back then my wonderful angel was not my own but the blond's. Believe me, I say that with disgust. Blondie was too self-centred to see the pain in my Alexander's eyes. To feel how desperately he wanted him to reach back. Tell him that he wasn't a freak like so many others thought him to be. If only he'd seen the pain.

Even after everything, he still doesn't think I love him with every fibre of my very being. My very soul belongs to him. I would give up my life for him a thousand times over and yet... it isn't enough. It never will be but I'm okay with that. I'll try a thousand different times a day to show my love to the only one I care for. In my eyes no one is greater than he. No one ever will be....

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

JACE

My parabatai isn't the same. He looks lost. He looks broken, like his whole life was destroyed and he doesn't quite know what to do. I can't help him, can't take some of the weight off his shoulders. I wish with everything I am that I could hold him and protect him from the pain he hides; like a monster in a cage that people hide with disgust. Alec shouldn't hide like that. He's an amazing person. I wish he could see what we see. What Magnus does and why he loves him so much.

I didn't even know when he was at his breaking point. I didn't know he was losing a battle within himself that no one could see. I'm bound to him and I couldn't even sense the brokenness inside of him. What kind of brother does that make me? When I can't even protect him from himself? When I couldn't protect him from Magnus? Couldn't be there when he needed me the most? So what if I have the fire of heaven running through me? Alec is more important than winning this war. So much more precious.

I feel tears in my eyes but I can't bring myself to care. I'm beyond heartbroken. I feel myself laugh.

"Wow, the great Herondale. Heartbroken and crying. What would my father say?" No, Valentine is not my father. I remind myself wearily. I sniffle and my heart stops. In a chilling moment, a thought so horrible and so cruel pops into my mind. It stops me dead in my tracks.

I've failed my parabatai and he hurt himself killed himself because of me...


	2. Chapter Two:The Quietness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I thought I had posted but I guess I did not if you want to read them faster please go follow me on Wattpad thank you!
> 
> Username  
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Hey guys, welcome back. I know left on such a devastating line for Jace and I hope to show you how it affected the others. Alec went through what he did and when one member of the family gets hurt in that way they all feel it so I hope to portray it correctly! Since I myself have only been in Alec's shoes and not Jace's or Isabelle's.

Anyway, I want to thank my beta  
Lucifer_Larry! And my cover maker! -vampirewriter! For yet another amazing looking and smooth read! Please go follow these lovely women and show your support for them!

Make sure to comment and if you have ideas for the storyline, or just want a one shot idea written, make sure to pm me thank you for all the love and support!  
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Chapter Two: Just Quietness

The house that Alec had lived in with Magnus before they'd broken up in Brooklyn hadn't changed up at all, really. It was exactly the same as before, like he'd never left. In some ways it was a comfort to know that Magnus couldn't touch anything and change it like he did at random times during the course of them living together. Alec had gotten used to the idea that it could look one way one second and look completely different the next. It amused Alec to no end that Magnus was that indecisive and he had to change the house constantly. It was... cute. You know what wasn't cute?

Rain. Boring, colourless, cold rain. It ran in streams down the windowpane, hitting the roof and making such a beautiful sound. Most people chose to stay in on these murky, dank days. Stay inside with the one they loved the most, the one they cherished, but all Alec had? A quiet house and an absent husband. He was always gone, barely ever there. You'd think Alec would love the quietness of the large, empty house, but no. It drove him mad with its creaking floorboards and the slaps of the tree branches on the multiple windows. Since Magnus owned most of the building, with only the one person under them. They didn't say much and unless you counted the clothes thrown around the first floor with the note "you fucked up" attached to it, it was quite peaceful.

Alec looked out the window. The ground below looked a thousand miles away, making his Depression worsen by the very second. He hated it when Magnus left, he always left, but here he was. Magnus left once again on Clave business. Oh, he most certainly was very proud of his soon to be husband. He knew it didn't sound like such but he was. Magnus deserved it, he really, honestly did. After everything the Clave had done to all the downworlders, they owed him that much, at least. Honestly, they owned him much much more but the Clave was too stuck in their ways to see heroes such as Magnus. Alec hoped one day that maybe he could fix it.

He looked out at the busy streets of New York and, like usual, it was raining. The constant drip drop of the rain pattering on their roof, it was slowly driving him insane. There was no other noise, nothin. Just...rain. Just...quietness. Not even the sound of cars honking on the streets, no chatter of people.

Alec jumped at the ringing of his phone slicing through the silence. He looked over at it, seeing Jace's name across it. He picked it up with a simple, "hello?" Jace didn't sound like his usual chirpy self. He sounded.....sad, unhappy, depressed. Scared... broken, even. Not right, like a mirror of himself and it hit something deep within Alec that sparked a flame of unhappiness like a forest fire within his soul. He couldn't quite put his finger on what it sounded like.

"Alec, we have a problem. Magnus is missing. He went to a meeting with the downworlders and no one came back," Jace sounded worried and Alec felt his heart stop.

"What do you mean he's missing? What happened?!" Alec asked frantically.

"I just told you, he went to a downworlders meeting and now he's gone! They went to the seelie court and now all of them are missing. It looks like the work of dark magic, but what do I know?" Jace sighed, laughing kind of darkly on the other end. If alec had been in a normal state of mind he would have asked what he meant and why he was acting so weird. Yet, he was trying to calm himself down because honestly panicking wouldn't help his fiancé, a calm head and a sound mind would, or so he hoped. If it didn't or if they were too late Alec didn't want to think of what they'd find. He shuddered when he thought such things, it hurt beyond words. He'd rather fight a bloody and long drawn out battle than think that Magnus might be out there... he couldn't even think the word. It refused to make its way past his lips, let alone his thoughts. That word would not be allowed to dance in his mind like the other roaming ideas he had that spun around his mind until he felt dizzy from it all.

Magnus was a strong man. He'd been alive long before Alec and he'd continue to live long after. He was but dust and bones, buried in the city of bones down deep below the cities of the mundane world. Deep down in the dark twisted paths where skulls and skeletons roamed and danced when no one was watching. Where the dead weren't really dead and all the stories were true, or so said the shadowhunter quote. All stories were true...true and very dangerous. So painfully real that just one wrong move in the dark corners of the downworld markets and you'd be eaten alive like a mouse before a starved street cat. Devoured in the depths of hell like so many brave men and women before and after.

Alec stood up, going to put gear on. He planned for a battle. The others might not know it yet but he'd have blood, that much he swore.

"Hold on Jace, I'm coming to Idris. I'll be there soon," he said then hung up. He would find Magnus if it was the last thing he did. He loved him, or so he tried to convince himself every second because until Magnus stood before him and told him their love was but a lie then he shall fight for Magnus. Until his last breath he doth breath, he would stand before the silent brothers and marry Magnus Bane. In sickness and in health he shall be with him and to Alec that meant everything. Even if he had to raise hell and destroy anyone in his path he'd find him because...

If I Cannot Bend Heaven....

I WILL Raise Hell 

                  To his angel he doth swore

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Oh..my..angel. That last line omg wow it gave me chills. I'm so proud of that line good Lord wow. (Okay fun fact my laptop died when I finished doing the final cut, the one I gave the amazingly talented Lucifer_Larry ;), and I was super scared I'd have to rewrite it because it didn't show up on my phone's doc so I almost cried at 3:30 AM when I saw it was okay (after I charged it and whatnot) but yeah just wanted to share lol)

Okay thank you for reading it means the world! I hope you enjoy my work because I enjoy writing it, I do really! 

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Now please go hop by their books to place requests!! Also while you're out go hop by mine!!! I'm always looking for requests!


	3. A journey to save a downworlder

Chapter 3: A Journey To Save A Downworlder

When Alec stepped out of the Portal in Idris he was still shaking. The glass city was just like it had been the last time Alec was there, all those months ago when his brother died. He remembered the night Magnus held him as he cried his eyes out over the loss of the youngest Lightwood. Over the loss of his youngest sibling. The towers shone silver in the evening sun, blinking as light reflected on them. Any other day Alec would have loved the sight. Now it only made everything seem more real, like it was really happening and that hurt far worse than the phone call he had received earlier.

He remembered as his heart shattered over and over again when he'd woken up to remember that his little brother wasn't coming home. That he'd never come home, that he'd stay in Idris forever. Buried in white for the death of a knight, Alec mused with teary eyes. Max would of loved that. To have died a Shadowhunter's death. To be honoured in such a way but the death of Max was always sore to him. Jonathan had killed him and he would seek his personal revenge. Not only for Magnus but for Maxwell as well. That he promised.

Alec got to the house. It was a mess. Things were thrown around everywhere, broken glass strewn across the floor, table, and chairs. It made him sick to think about what had become of Magnus and he felt his heart lurch at the idea of his precious Downworlder boyfriend getting hurt in any way. Tears sprang to his eyes but he pushed them down. No! His brain yelled at him. You can't cry, we have to find Magnus. We have to free him, he's out there somewhere hurt and probably dying. No, we can't cry. He nodded, he agreed with what his mind was telling him, but his heart? Well it was saying curl into a ball for just one second and ball your eyes out. It'll feel better.

But he knew he had to keep going because the moment he curled into a ball was the moment he'd stop fighting and he couldn't have that when his warlock was out there. No, he was going to man up and be the warrior he trained to be and that was that. Alec was used to being the only strong one around. After everything was said and done, he had nowhere to turn besides Magnus and that's probably why it was so hard to suck it up and fix things. He knew he no longer had Magnus to turn to when he needed him the most.

______________________________________

Magnus woke to the smell of blood in the air, like a metallic blanket that hugged him, begging him to throw up. He tried moving, only to find he was chained to the floor with the feeling of being drained from within. He shuttered. Where was he? He needed to find Alec. He looked around franticly but he only saw Raphael and Luke.

He croaked out a help and both the Latino and older boy snapped their heads in his direction. It would have been funny if not for the predicament he found himself thrown into at the moment. Yet, none of that mattered.

Raphael looked at him, concerned, but Magnus couldn't quite realize why. What was so wrong that they had to look at him with such pity in their eyes? It made him sick. What did they see to cause such distance? He looked at Raphael, puzzled.

"What is it? What's wrong?" The scent of blood got stronger. It made him sick to the point that his insides tried to make a run for it but the only thing keeping them in was pure will.

The young latino looked sick. They kept glancing at the tiny window that was far up on the wall, more for light than anything. As Magnus glanced around it all looked so familer until a pain shot through his head, making his brain have the odd feeling of being melted alive. The last thing he heard before blacking out was his freinds calling his name but they sounded so far away. The last thing he heard was Alec's beautiful laugh. His sweet laugh that made everything much better...so...so much better.

_____________________________________________________________________

Magnus shook awake, gasping and panting into the darkness. He felt like he was being held underwater with no chance at relief. His lungs burned for air that he could not reach. He glanced around in a blind panic, searching for anything that could help him. Yet, he found nothing but empty air and a darkness so deep it chilled him to the bone. He curled in on himself, shivering when a dark voice came rising up from the darkness with a twisted laugh.

It was so shockingly fimiler that he couldn't speak because fear gripped him so hard. 'No, it cannot be!' He shook as anxiety ripped through him like a wave of fire gripping his bones and not letting go. It hurt to think of old wounds but here they were being opened in such a brutal way. It left him with a feeling of violation and openness that he despised.

"Asmodeus," he growled out into the darkness. The endless void that felt so familiar it hurt. It left a deep ache in his thoughts and his memories. It left hurt and scars to be opened like a hot knife through butter. Willing compliant, distant pain that he had forgotten so long ago. Even to him it felt like a dark twisted fantasy dream that played with your mind until you were left hurt and gasping. Picking up the fragile parts of your mind it decided to leave behind and all you could do was hope the damage wasn't too great

A dark laugh echoed throughout what he thought was a small space but honestly it could be anything with his father. He was just that sick.

"Oh, Magnus. How I've missed you, my son. The only one left, the only one with so much power. It hurts to lay my eyes upon you. I'm so very -" before he could get the word "proud" out of his mouth, a dark growl echoed out loud and clear. Like the hounds of Hades himself were standing before them.

"Don't you dare say you're proud of me, you sick, twisted twit. I made my own way, no thanks to you. You had nothing to do with me or my success. All you've done is hurt me and my family. You're nothing more than a problem in my way and what do I do with problems, father?" he growled out viciously, with so much hatred you could fill a whole sea. It dripped off of every word like a thunderstorm of hate and anger.

Asmodeus glared back at his son with just as much hatred.

"How d-" but Magnus cut him off once more.

"How dare I? Really? HOW DARE I?!" he yelled back, "I'll tell you how I dare, father. I swear to you, if it's the last thing I'll ever do, I'll kill you because that's what I do to people in my way. I get rid of them and no one can stop me. I don't care who you are, father, because it matters little to me. So there for you've lost your right to live." He said the last part simply. 

The older man gave a deep growl before saying, "you'll regret your words, my son. That I promise you." Magnus shrugged.

"That is highly unlikely." Admoseus waved his hand and he was gone, throwing Magnus back into the cell he was in before. With a gasp, Magnus sat up and instantly regretted it. His head spun and his stomach once again wanted to jump ship. He groaned, lying back on the ground and hoping to block out the words. Yet, something always came up and this time it was Luke and Raphael. 

Raf turned to Magnus and told him, "Magnus, we're in Edom." To that Magnus laughed a hollow sound, void of feeling. Which to this day still scares them because it only had one meaning....the great Magnus Bane had given up.

Magnus looked at them through his hands, that once covered his face, and simply said, "yeah, no kidding," before promptly passing out.


	4. To Seelie and back

Chapter 4: To Seelie And Back 

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Hey guys I'm so sorry it took so long. A lot has happened but here it is and I'm working on chapter five so I hope you enjoy and please make sure you drop a request in my one shot book. Thank you!

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After the house was checked over and then checked again due Alec's request or..demand..they were ordered to go to the guard for a meeting. It was to find the best course of action since they found no useful evidence, or really any at all, as to where they might be. The news was that they were still no closer to finding Magnus than before Alec had come rushing to Idris was... disheartening, to say the least.

Alec walked behind everyone else towards the guard. He felt like he was on the verge of tears but he couldn't let it show. He had to be strong even though he was the one losing someone important, not his siblings. All they would lose was a free magic source but other than that they couldn't care less. Arriving at the guard took a bit of time since Alec was most certainly depressed and he couldn't quite shake it. It gripped him tightly and wouldn't let go. It hurt to breathe or even look at Magnus's council seat, knowing the glittery warlock would not be there. 

Once Jia entered the council hall all eyes turned to her. She looked like she'd aged 40 years since he'd last saw her. She began to speak when the doors opened up and a tall man that Alec remembered seeing before came in.

"Matthias Gonzales?" Jia gasped. The man's face remained empty and void of emotion as they started talking. It sounded like he was reading from a script.

"Jonathan has taken your downworlders. If you want to see them alive again he demands to have Jonathan Christopher Herondale and Clarissa Morgenstern. If they are not given to him he will have no choice but to have the downworlders killed. They are to come to Edom at 12:00 pm tomorrow." He stated simply.

"There's no way we're going with you!" Jace growled out. At that, Matthias grabbed a knife and tried stabbing Jace. 

A whistle cut through the air as one of Alec's arrows found its mark in the endarkened one's hand. He turned and growled at him before vanishing like he'd never been there to begin with. After he was gone the hall erupted in chaos. Jace, Clary, Isabelle, and Simon found their way to Alec in the very back of the room. Jace looked mad and ready to kill anyone that got in his way.

"So, what now?" he said, looking at his parabatai. Alec shook his head.

"I don't know but we need to go to Edom. Isn't that a different dimension, though?" He asked, slightly - no more than slightly - worried. Isabelle nodded but glared at the ground in thought.

"But doesn't seelie have a tunnel there? We learned about it in class, Alec, remember?" she said, looking up from the ground and staring quizzically at her older, taller brother. Alec nodded.

"Yeah, it does. It's called the pathway to hell or something but we need to find a way there," Alec said, shrugging. He was trying not to show everyone how much he was shaking at the thought of Magnus being somewhere so dangerous. It ate at him till all that was left was worry and distress. Clary nodded like she was having a conversation with herself and knowing her family she probably was.

"You know the seelie house has a portal to and from seelie so that they can easily talk to the queen and be able to attend their fey things they always seem to be having," she said, looking up at Alec for the first time since hearing that Magnus had been kidnapped that morning. He let out a sigh of relief and then nodded.

"Then that's where we'll go," he said. Brushing past his siblings and their partners, he headed off towards the seelies' home to the portal. He was off to save his fiancé and get them home so that he'd be safe and sound.

______________________________________________________________________

The walk to the seelie house was a quiet one. An awkward silence fell over the group in waves. Alec, deep in thought, didn't take notice of the others' distress. Jace more so than the others, for he still blamed himself for what happened with Alec, months before this whole thing. Jace felt that it was his doing for the simple fact that he had not done enough to help his parabatai. He'd failed so greatly that Alec had lost his life for it.

By the time they had walked all the way across Idris to the downworlder houses Jace had worked himself up to the point of no return. Tears shone in his tri-coloured eyes and Alec was a whole different story. He couldn't stop thinking about finding Magnus dead. Torn apart because Alec had not done enough.

The house was like a beacon of death and destruction. It hurt to even gaze upon it. Alec's breath stopped and he felt cold all over, like death had slapped him. Walking through the house that Magnus had been in just a few hours earlier hurt more than he could describe. It bit at his insides until all that was left were the bones and blood inside him. He felt hollow like he didn't do all he could to save him. It did hurt but Alec was grown. He knew how to cope with guilt so he'd cope now.

After making one of the now empty rooms their "base" (until they could collect all they needed to live in Edom before facing Jonathon and freeing the downworlders) Jace, of course, had put himself into the leader position. He claimed he knew the most about the other Jonathon because the demon had been stuck in his head. The plan was that they'd travel to seelie to go find the tunnel of hell. Then after they entered Edom they would scope out the place to see where he could make his castle. Since that's what he wanted to rule with Jace and Clary by his side, it made perfect sense that he'd have a castle or at least something that looked like such.

They quickly found everything they needed as the houses were always fully stocked. With a plan in mind and packs full, they decided to sleep. They needed to get their rest for the battle that most certainly would follow in the other dimension known as Edom. Everyone, feeling tired and weary of what was to come, headed off to bed......

Everyone except Alec.

He looked at the shiny knife glittering dangerously in his hand, winking mockingly at him in the small light that the bathroom, bathed in witch light, gave off. He teared up; he was so weak. He couldn't even stop himself from breaking the promise he'd given to Magnus months ago. He didn't want to hurt himself, he wanted to stop, but the blood that was now dripping down his arm wouldn't stop and the idea that it also washed away Magnus's trust in him burned his heart like a thousand wildfires dancing inside him.

He'd broken Magnus's trust.

That was unforgivable..... 

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Wow that's just amazing! I really enjoyed this chapter but alas there's only a few more chapters left before the end of this book! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed.

-vampiregraphics  
Thank you for making the amazing cover. She's great, make sure you go give her a follow.

Lucifer_Larry  
Thank you for editing and making this chapter so easy to read. Please go give them a follow!


	5. But Hurt Is Pain Even If It's The Minds Game

Chapter 5: But Hurt Is Pain Even If It's The Mind's Game

\- One Month Earlier -

 

Alec looked out the window, staring aimlessly. He was looking at everything down below; the mundanes living their lives, not knowing the fact that horrid murdering monsters roamed their streets seeking blood and death. With death followed bodies lining the streets and rooms till nothing was left but a bloody trail of destruction. Yet the mundanes knew nothing of this dangerous world they lived in and it made Alec want to laugh at their childishness. Their innocence that he wished for a thousand times over but no. He was forced into being a shadowhunter ever since birth. It did make him mad but he could not change it so there for he had to leave it be.

Magnus's reflection slowly drifted in the window that he was idly staring out of. He turned, looking at him, and smiled a smile that looked forced but Magnus didn't say anything, thankfully. Alec didn't want to talk about it. The way he still felt about everything including his very tiny amount of will to live but hey, that didn't need to be talked about. No, of course not. Why would it? Alec thought bitterly. He honestly should tell him about his decreasing mental health but when did he ever ask for help? Much less seek it out... the shadowhunters honestly should change that, it has gotten us killed before he thought unhappily, pouting to himself for once again being right. He hated that his mind was so much smarter than his heart.

Magnus smiled at him and that smile was real and happy but a little sad at the same time. That worried Alec. No, Magnus couldn't be sad. This didn't seem right.

"What's wrong?" he asked, scooting over a little to make room on the window seat for him. Magnus just shook his head, sitting with his back against the opposite wall. He looked at his Alexander with fondness.

"Nothing's wrong, per say. It's just..I'd like to ask something of you, my beloved," he smiled, brushing his hand wearing the ring over Alec's cheek. He cupped his face gently before sitting back again. Alec nodded.

"If it is within my power I'll most certainly fulfil it." Magnus nodded his understanding and then took a moment to gather his words.

"I'd like you to promise me that you'll never hurt yourself on purpose again. As long as I'm here to love and help you, please reach out to me before picking up a blade to slit your beautiful pale skin. Can you promise me this, Alexander Lightwood?" Alec looked at his hands. Could he promise Magnus this? Would he be able to keep it? He didn't want to make a promise to him without knowing if he'd be able to fulfill the requirement or not. He never wanted to let him down, to make him disappointed in him. It would destroy him.....

"Yes."

By the angel.....What had he just done....?

____________________________________________________________

-Now-

 

Alec glanced at the group. He didn't want them to worry about him for no reason. He honestly wasn't worth it. Right now the biggest thing was to bring Magnus home and...Magnus was going to leave him again. He wouldn't want him after everything. Oh, angel. He broke his promise to him. Of course he wouldn't want him anymore. The fact coursed through him like wildfire. He was tainted yet again by a blade slicing across his skin. It upset Alec more than anyone could ever know...

I'm weak to have let myself fall for something like pain. I'm a shadowhunter, I protect everyone around me. Yet I can't seem to protect myself and it confuses me. I don't like this feeling of helplessness. It makes me feel like I'm being drowned alive and I can't seem to find the top. I can't breathe...I can't...

Jace glanced at Alec, stuffing his bag full of stuff so he could go to seelie and then from there to edom to finally end this all. Whether it was with or without him coming home. It didn't matter to him as long as Alec.... There was blood on his shirt sleeve....blood was on Alec. That meant- oh angel, that meant he needed to watch him closer and they HAD to find Magnus. It was a matter of Alec's life or death.

Yet again he couldn't do shit to save him. He was hurting and cutting once again and all Jace could do was go get Magnus because he couldn't do anything himself. Alec wouldn't listen to him and it broke pieces of his heart. It made them fall to the bottom of his stomach, to know he was utterly useless in helping his parabatai. He shoved everything in his backpack and started going to the portal, not even glancing at Alec. He only knew how to do one thing. It was to shut everyone out so that's what he'd do....

Like Valentine said, everyone will leave me...

But they can't if I leave first.

____________________________________________

After everyone was ready and packed, everyone stood nervously at the portal. It was new and dangerous and, well, scary. Jace was void of any and all feelings, face blank like a piece of snow white paper that took a step forward and looked at them all.

"Come on, let's go. Nothing will happen if we stay standing here. Our family is trapped there! We are the only ones who can save them and that's what we'll do. Now, let's go." He turned and stepped through the portal and everyone followed like little soldiers marching to their deaths.

And to seelie they fell.

________________________________________________

-Edom-

Magnus groaned, looking around everywhere. He felt like he was dying and that scared him. He couldn't die, Alec needed him. Rushing over to him, Rachel and Luke looked at him worriedly. 

"Are you okay?" Raf asked. Luke responded with a "you look like death."

The doors swung open and the little brat entered, the one who started all this. Luke growled, his eyes turning a forest green. Their usal blue was long gone with the arrival of Jonathan Morgenstern. Jonathan only grinned.

"You're all so funny. You think you can take... me?" he asked, laughing, "oh no, that is more than funny. It's... refreshing." Luke growled.

"What did you do to your mother?!" He demanded loudly. Jonathan's face fell.

"She's not my mother. She tried to kill me. A mother wouldn't do that. They're supposed to love you. Mine does not." 

Luke growled, "you're a monster." He just rolled his eyes in reply to this.

"Yes, yes, I know. Anyway, who wants to go home?" All present looked sceptical. Jonathan just grinned.

"You, vampire, want to go home?" To that, Raphael nodded. Jonathan pulled out a knife and handed it to him, handle pointed toward him.

"If you want to go home...."

"Kill the warlock." It was eerily quiet waiting for Raphael to take it or not and for once, Magnus was scared...

He might not make it home.

__________________________________________________________________

Wow I'm so sorry this took so long but this past month I've been in the ER twice and it sucks but I also have good news. My birthday is coming up so yeah, I'll try to get a chapter out before the 24th because I might not get it out that Saturday since my friend is staying a week at my house. I'll try okay. Now for the thanks of this chapter!!

Lucifer_Larry

For the amazning job editing. Thank you so much. Without you my stories wouldn't be here. Well, they would, they'd just be very hard to read. You're amazing and I love you!

-vampiregraphics

For the beautiful covers. They are so pretty that it hurts to look at them. I love them and they make me happy! You're amazing too, so very sweet. I love you both!

I have good news for those of you that have heard that Broken Rose will get eight chapters and that's it. Well, it might just get nine so there is that to look forward to!! Please make sure to coment and vote. Thanks for reading! Love you all.


	6. Ave Atque Vale

Chapter 6: Ave Atque Vale

-1953 -

Blood ran cold as it dripped its way down a limp body and onto a dirty, dusty floor. Cat eyes glanced around the old, broken-down, rusty room with tears glistening in them. He was far too late to save the poor latino dead on the floor in front of him, barley two steps away. He had not come soon enough. He had failed in his task. What would he say to the young boy's mother? 

The caramel-skinned boy blinked at him, his mouth stained red from the blood he'd just drank.

"What am I?" he choked, eyes trying not to let tears fall out, but he was just a scared fifteen year old boy so down they went. He wiped at them quickly, almost like he wanted to get them before the warlock saw, but he saw them indeed. Magnus sighed. He didn't want to tell him this. He dreaded it but there was no avoiding it.

"You're a vampire," the words left his mouth before he could stop them and once they had flown into the air to dance with all the others he felt enormous pity for the poor child in front of him. The boy sank to the ground and cried. Once the blood and tears had stopped dripping onto the floor he looked up at Magnus.

"I'm a monster." His eyes hardened and Magnus felt afraid of what the boy would do. He believed he was damned and that his God would no longer love him but that was not the case.

Raphael looked up and glanced at a spot of sunlight that had snuck its way past the boards of the rundown motel that the vamps of New York lived in. Dust and other unpleasant things floated in its mist. He looked up at Magnus and that's when it all clicked for him. He jumped to hold the boy down as he tried to jump up and run towards the sun. He thought it would save him. It would not...

It would only hurt him as it burned his skin away forever.....

\- Present -

Magnus looked at Raphael, worried. 'Would he kill me so easily?' He thought. 'Did saving his life all those years ago mean nothing?' Thoughts ran around his head over and over again as Raf grabbed the knife and Jonathan's eyes lit up like Christmas lights. He enjoyed this, that sick freak. Magnus glanced at Raphael, his face unreadable. Jonathan grinned.

"Go on, vampire. Save your soul so you may go home." Raphael rolled his eyes and flung the knife to the ground. He turned to look at Magnus and spoke, his face open in a way that Magnus had not seen in years. Not since he told a fifteen year old boy that he could never walk in the sun again.

''I have no soul but I made you a promise on my mother's doorstep and she was sacred to me. I was a child then. I am not now. I cannot; I will not. I owe him a debt from many years ago." After he said that he would not kill Magnus the warlock didn't feel at ease like he should have. It only meant one thing. Raphael was more than likely not going to come home and that thought alone made him want to cry and beg the demon that wore jocelyn's son's face to give him mercy.

At that, Jonathan's eyes turned black and he growled at the vampire.

"Fine. If you wish it to be so, your debt is now fulfilled. And with it, your life is now mine." With that, a stake was pushed through a heart that had not beat for seventy years and Raphael was turned to dust, shattering Magnus's heart. It blew away along with the last remains of the son he'd raised from a child. The howls of Magnus's pain could be heard from miles and miles around. All the way to Seelie and past, making Alec's heart stop and his eyes pool with tears.

Something very wrong had happened.

___________________________________________

\- Seelie -

The group fell into an icy pond that took their breath away with every inhale they dared to take. Isabelle was the first to pop her head out of the water and look around, gasping. It looked just like winter. Was it? Or were their heads being played with like toys in the Seelie Queen's sick game? Izzy shuttered, getting out and grabbing their things.

The next to resurface was Jace, with Simon and Clary following shortly behind. They all looked tired and cold. Funny, since they had all just woken up and jumped through the portal to the realm of the fey. They all got out to dry off since the water was oddly very real and made them feel iced to the bone.

Alec loved this feeling. It was so painful and it made him stop thinking of the problems they were facing. It helped his mind think...the pieces all clicked and he knew exactly what had happened. He jumped up, gasping. He looked at his family on the shore and swam to them. Getting out was a lot harder since he was dripping and his clothes were a lot heavier when they got wet but Alec trudged up to the shore and changed his clothes.

After they were dry they started heading towards the throne room, or where they thought it would be. Since they'd only ever been escorted to the throne room by faeries themselves, they had no idea where they were going. Luckily they came across Meliorn on their journey. As the group question him, Alec did not say a word. He knew what he wanted to know and it was a long shot but it was best to catch him off guard. He waited and then, knowing it was the right moment, he glared at Meliorn.

"Answer me this, halfling" Alec practically growled. Meliorn just grinned and answered a simple, "yes?"

"How long has the Queen been working with Jonathan Morgenstern?"

______________  
Okay so I'm not updating this book until sometime next month. I'll have it posted on my Tumblr when I'll return so be sure to go give it a follow. It's 0--shadow--0

Lucifer_Larry  
Thank you for editing it and for being there to give me pointers. I don't know where I'd be with out you. You're so amazing! :3

-vampiregraphics  
For the beautiful cover. May your covers live on and may you never run out of inspiration!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I'm back and I hope you enjoy! Please be sure to go visit me on Wattpad if you have any ideas or just want to see me write something hit me up on there!


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